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MY GRANDPA
I realized how much I really didn’t know about my family. I didn’t know how special they
were or too much about their past. It all changed when my grandpa passed away.
It was January 2, 2001, I was in school and my grandpa the last few days had been getting very sick. I was worried and
I couldn’t concentrate on anything. When I was eating lunch I had this weird feeling inside me that I should call my
mom and see if everything was all right. After lunch I walked quickly to my next class so I could call her. At first she sounded
as though everything was okay and then she started to cry. She told me that grandpa had passed away this morning. My heart
felt like it dropped and I couldn’t shut my mouth. Tears were welling up in my eyes and I quickly brushed them away
so no one would notice. I told my mother I don’t want to be here. She said she would come and pick me up from school.
When I was walking to the office I was thinking; I can’t believe that my grandpa passed away and I started to pray.
It didn’t seem like he was really gone until I went to the nursing home and saw him. I couldn’t stop crying.
I just looked at him for a while and thought how different he looked. I thought that couldn’t be my grandpa, my grandpa
has rosy cheeks and has a fatter face. He was so skinny when he passed away that you could see almost every single bone in
his body. When I touched him he felt very cold and fragile. I didn’t really want to remember my grandpa like that.
My grandpa (John Reuter) had two diseases, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. He had Alzheimer’s for the last
10 years, but the last four years were the worst and he had to go to a nursing home. The first couple of years he was doing
pretty well. He was walking but then he started to have some trouble and had to use a walker, then he went to a wheelchair
and the last couple of days he spent in his bed. You could tell every year he was getting worse and worse. One day he would
be normal with sparkling eyes and a smile to brighten your day and the next day he may be totally confused. He would ask who
he was and "where am I?" he would even ask me who I was, which really hurt. My family was missing him even when he was alive.
My Grandpa was a very special man. That’s why I think he’s gonna be missed so much. He cared about everyone!
It didn’t matter to him what race, religion or background you came from. He had owned a grocery store in Cass Lake,
Minnesota for over 30 years. People would come in just to visit with him without needing to buy anything. He gave many children
a piece of candy, even if they didn’t have any money with them. There was so much money that people owed him, from putting
their groceries on an account, but his kind heart allowed them to keep doing this even if they never paid him back.
While I was at the visitation and funeral people were sharing so many stories about my grandpa that I never heard before.
I wish I could have known those stories before he passed away. He was truly a special man. I realized I should get to know
more about people. I have decided I would like to learn what is special about all the people in my life, to really listen
to their stories. I have learned a lot through my grandpa’s death. I hope that I can be more like him. My grandpa didn’t
have a lot of material things but he had a lot of love for his family and friends. At his funeral services I realized just
how much everyone loved him, too. I will miss him deeply.
By: Karissa Showen
As I watch my thirty seven year old sister-in-law Michelle grieve the loss of her husband, I
think about how she spent the last three years. Damon died after an unbelievable battle with multiple brain surgeries and
complications thereafter. He was the bravest man I have ever known. He wanted to live and see his grandchildren and enjoy
the rest of his life. The University of Minnesota neurosurgeons told Michelle that Damon’s tumor was the largest mass
they have ever removed. After the first successful surgery in 2001, we were all hopeful. All reports confirmed that the tumor
was extracted in entirety. For half of the year to follow Damon led a normal life. Then the headaches came back along with
the impaired vision. Apparently the blood supply in his brain had fed the growth of a new tumor. Back to church I went and
prayed for another miracle. This next surgery was tricky, because he developed a leak that would turn out to be the nemesis
that plagued him the rest of his days. Michelle stood faithfully by as shunts and drain tubes were fastened in the head of
her beloved. She would see the end result as bone was taken from his forehead in order to provide easy access for the doctors
to enter the front of his face. He was cut on all parts of his skull. Muscle and veins were stripped from all parts of his
body and fused into his head in the effort to save him. His body looked like a jig-saw puzzle. Through all this torture he
never gave up: and neither did his loving wife.
In the meantime, Michelle went to work every day to pay for all the rising medical and household
expenses. Her evenings were spent in hospitals by Damon’s bedside. She was his advocate. She met with Doctors to discuss
how best to heal him. Along with this tremendous responsibility she has two teen-age children who need her more then ever.
The joy that we all experience in our daily lives was stolen from her. She never complains and I believe she is what saints
are made of. She set her life on hold as she gave unselfishly every ounce of strength she had in her body to save the love
of her life. If a goal is defined by effort, Michelle was robbed of her prize. Instead she watched as her courageous husband
gradually slipped away. Every time Michelle had hope he might survive, Damon would develop meningitis or another medical complication
would surface to put him at high risk again. When the doctors said they could do no more for him in Minneapolis, she took
him to Mayo clinic in Rochester. She tried in every way possible to rescue him from death.
The beating his body took after fifteen surgeries was inconceivable. Finally his choice to live
was taken from him. Ventilators took the place of normal breaths; feeding tubes replaced his ability to eat. Bags and drain
tubes were fastened to him to catch all body fluids and waste. The quantity of tears Michelle cried in anguish these past
three years is immeasurable. Surely she has set the bar for all to follow who will lose someone they love. Her pain and passion
matches the man she so desperately tried to save. I am changed forever from this experience. I am reminded of a nurse who
witnessed Michelle’s devotion to Damon. He said "It is my belief that in my lifetime I will never again encounter the
devotion to a husband I saw here. She came every day to comfort and love this man, and I can only pray, upon telling my wife
the journey of Michelle, that she could do the same for me."
Pat Reuter
 Today is the day I start my new life without my Dad. He passed on to another life yesterday,
January 2, 2001 at 9:00 a.m. I hate to think of life without him. I can only live without him because he is no
longer in pain and also because I believe I will see him again.
He was such a good man, friendly, gentle-spirited, kind and actually quite
a softie. He cried each time my mother went into labor, which was seven times (now that I think about it I wonder if
he cried as he knew he had another mouth to feed, just joking but he should have). He loved his family and unrealistically
thought we should all live under one roof even as adults (my mother knew we would kill one another if that happened).
His big dream if he won the lottery was not to build a dream house, nor buy a fancy car (although he thought it would be wonderful
to ride in a little yellow sports car and drive it through our little town of Cass Lake with sunglasses on and a scarf around
his neck just once and just to be cool), his big dream was to rent buses to bring all his 7 children, 24 grandchildren and
9 great-grandchildren to Disney World, with my mother running the whole thing, of course. He taught me to appreciate
life and everyone and everything around me, i.e. God, Mom, all people, clouds, wildlife, storms, lakes, scenery, Dairy Queens,
etc. When we were young, he and Mom would load (what a load) up the car on Sunday evenings and we would drive around
to the country, through the town, and sometimes to Bemidji, just looking at scenery, people, etc. Of course, this would
always end in a stop at the Dairy Queen but only if we were good, which of course in my Dad's eyes was all the time (it was
my mother who didn't have her blinders on and knew we were wonderful but of course, not always good-Thank God for her, too,
for reality checks).
Mom and Dad owned and operated a grocery store in Cass Lake, Minnesota
for 33 years (it's a good thing with all the mouths they had to feed). None of us kids knew what it was like to interview
or apply for a job, until we became adults, as we all worked in the store in our teens. I remember my first wages were
ten cents an hour and I was excited, but I didn't need to buy anything except fun stuff as Mom and Dad provided everything
we needed. Dad worked at the store a lot, but as he was a "night owl", he had others open it up in the morning and usually
arrived there about 11 a.m. But he worked there all day, closing it at night, coming home for supper and a beer, then
back down to the store until 10 or 11 to check-out, load shelves, etc. Then loading up his "money box" because he thought
it best to bring the money home at night, making deposits during the day, he would drive through the streets of downtown Cass
Lake, making sure everyone was okay, and would drive by each home of his family members to make sure everything looked okay
at their homes. Once he arrived home, he would drink one or two beers, smoke a cigar, read the paper and watch television
until the Star Spangled Banner played, signifying the tv stations would shut off. Dependable is a word but it was my
Dad.
My Dad did smoke cigars but had a horrendous sweet tooth (now I know where
I get it). All of us, including my own children, knew where to get a candy bar, in Dad's/Grandpa's cigar humidor (he
thought we didn't know). They usually didn't taste like cigars because they weren't in there long enough to acquire
the flavor.
Dad has been in the nursing home almost four years. The last year
has been very difficult for all of us but mostly Mom. She is a wonderfully independent and compassionate woman who will
grieve forever for her life partner of 54 years. She will probably go back to assisting the teachers as a foster grandparent,
popping popcorn and assisting at the nursing home and being very involved in her church but she will never forget him or allow
us to do so.
I will miss many, many things about my Dad. He had a wonderful sense
of humor, blue-gray twinkling eyes, a friendly smile and a wave to all. Even in the nursing home, the nurses told us
he always had a smile for them or a little wave. They said yesterday, there will never be another like him, and I believe
that. He was loved by so many and we will miss him terribly.
Services will be in Cass Lake on Saturday, January 6 at 11:00 a.m. at the
St. Charles Catholic Church, with visitation Friday night from 4-8 p.m. at Thomas Dennis Funeral Chapel. A memorial
service will be held in Forest Lake later this month.
Love, Carol
DAMON B. SHOWEN
It is with great sadness that we announce the death of Damon Showen, age 38,
a wonderful husband, father, son, brother, family member and friend. Damon faced his brain tumor with dignity and courage
and was an inspiration to many. His valiant three-year struggle ended Sunday,
Nov. 14. Damon had a great sense of humor, loved teasing everyone, helped those in need and was a great
romantic with a little-boy smile. He coached soccer, softball and assisted the coaches in football and baseball, and was a
Cub Scout Leader and Den Master. Survived and loved by his adoring wife Michelle (Reuter), daughter Karissa and son Josh all
of Centerville, parents Hazel (Mann) and Dorsey Showen, sisters Deborah (Don) Croaker and Dianna Morrison all of Cass Lake,
brother Darryl (Debra) of Coleraine, mother-in-law, Monica Reuter of Forest Lake and many special nieces, nephews, aunts and
uncles, in-laws and friends. Loved by many and will be missed greatly. Many, many thanks for the prayers, love, support and
gifts throughout the last three years. Funeral mass at St. Charles Catholic Church, Cass Lake, Minnesota on Thurs., Nov 18
at 11:00 AM. Visitation at Thomas Dennis Funeral Home, Cass Lake, on Weds, Nov 17 from 4-8:00 PM. Interment at Pine Grove
Cemetery , Cass Lake. Memorials preferred to family in lieu
of flowers. A benefit and Celebration of His Life will be held November 19, 2004 at Jammers, Bemidji at 7:00 PM.
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